Wow, talk about neglect. Social services needs to take this blog away from me and find it a good loving home. I’ve probably been abandoned by my readers and dropped by my sponsors. Of course, by readers I mean my mom and a couple of friends and by sponsors I mean the one pair of free running socks that were sent to me by accident last fall. This blog neglect, like a DNF on race day, could be rationalized through all manner of excuses but the bottom line is that I simply didn’t make the “distance” that I set out to do. Even more disheartening is the fact that the plan to increase the blogging frequency upon graduation in May has resulted in a whopping zero posts. Anyway, every race can’t be a PR so while I’m admittedly chasing blogging cut-off times, I’m not ready to DNF. I’ll hang in there and see what happens.
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| A surprisingly chilly pre-race |
Speaking of near-DNFs, plans gone awry, and hangin in there.... on April 28th I ran the Free State Ultra 100k Trail Race. Back in 2010, Free State was my first attempt at the 100k distance, an attempt that remains my only DNF – although not 'officially' since I was still listed as a 40-mile finisher. In 2011, it was my first successful 100k and at that time I wrote a pretty detailed (and no-doubt over-dramatic) race report. Since the course was identical in 2012…and since it was now long enough ago that no one cares (except, of course, my mom and a couple of friends) I will shoot for brevity and maybe just share some overall thoughts about the day.
While a 100k finish in 2011 was supposed to be the next step on the way to a 100 mile race, I decided that I wanted another shot at the 100k distance before moving up to 100s. Between the 2011 and 2012 Free States, I had PR’d for the 50k distance (twice) and pulled off a 6 ½ hour winter Psycho Wyco. Going into the 2012 race I was consistently running 40-60 miles per week, I was rested and tapered, I was healthy, I was confident, and I was going to knock an hour or more off my previous 100k time…at least that was the plan.
The Free State Ultra 100k course consists of three 21’ish mile loops on the Clinton Lake North Shore Trails. The first loop was perfect as I knocked it out in four hours. The second loop started out fine but around mile 24 the wheels started to fall off the wagon. I have no idea what happened to me mentally but I just started to feel like I didn’t want to be out there anymore. I had a little Plantar Fascia pain going on in my left foot but it was no big deal…I’ve ran through far worse pain. In 2011, my first two loops were solid and I just gutted out the third so when I was feeling so bad before the 30-mile mark, I started doubting my ability to “gut out” two whole loops. For some reason I still haven’t figured out, those type of negative thoughts hit me that day like never before and as most ultra-runners know, once your mind starts down that path it can be tough to reverse it. Debbie Webster ran up behind me and we talked and ran for four miles or so. I remember telling her I was dropping at mile 40 due to the PF pain (seemed reasonable at the time). She offered some encouragement and reminded me to take in some calories. I appreciated her positivity but I was going to need some more miles to ‘work’ out my issues.
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| Awesome volunteers at Land's End! |
I think my own expectation going into the race was a factor in why I started feeling crappy. As I slowed down on the second loop the math wasn’t adding up for my time goals and I think this was discouraging. The plans were going to shit. It looked like 2012 would be slower than 2011….what the hell?!? I’d come so far and felt so disappointed that I wanted to quit. “Screw it, it just isn’t my day”. A DNF for no physical reason…weak, I know, but that’s where I was at.
As ultra-runners, it seems like we exist in a continuous cycle of planning. There’s training plans, weekly mileage goals, deciding when to eat, what to eat, when and where to run. Leading up to races or climbing expeditions I can become obsessed with logistical planning, travel arrangements, crew issues, and tons of details. For the event itself, many of us are meticulous about pace, hydration, calories, or gear. I’ve always found that good planning can be a direct contributor to a successful finish. However, I’m starting to learn that you need to ‘plan’ for the plan not to work. I had a football coach once tell me that the only thing guaranteed to happen in a game is that at some point; everything is going to go completely to shit. What you do at that point is what really matters.
As with all KC Trail Nerd events, the volunteers at the mile 40 aid station were phenomenal and I went out on my final loop in a mental 180’. Talk about salvaging the day, I ran about 80% of the last loop and came in three minutes faster than my 2011 time. Three minutes, OK maybe not an hour off my prior year but after the second loop from hell, I was ecstatic. What did I learn? No matter where you think your training is, always respect the distance. Your own mind can be your worst enemy. Don’t quit on yourself too soon, no matter how convincing an argument your mind makes, and most importantly, even the best laid plans will not work out...deal with it.
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| Some buckles come harder than others! |
Finally, love and thanks to Jessica, Alyena, and Ayden, my real support crew.
Up next. Hopefully the blog hibernation is over. I’m running the Psycho Psummer 50k on Saturday, Coleen’s Sweaty Ass Race in early August (a 50-miler at night), and my first 100 mile race (the Hawk Hundred) is in September. I’ve also got an idea for an unsupported solo run across the Flint Hills trail from Council Grove to Osage City, Ks. A company has sent me some inserts to try out so I may be writing a gear review over the next few weeks. Anyway, thanks for reading.
