January 17^th – 23^rd  A Rough Week of Training:  

 Snowballs and Questions: Looking for Motivation.

           Something I’ve learned about myself as an ultra runner is that I typically experience a let down following a race or big event.  If I've raced well or accomplished a predetermined goal, there comes a day or so of exuberance followed by a general loss of motivation. Not held exclusively to running, this “post-partum” has hit me following mountain climbs as well. I suppose it’s only natural that when you’ve been planning, training, and basically obsessing over a race or a big climb, everything that immediately follows can just seem anti-climatic.  The challenge is to find something that snaps you out of the “funk”; unfortunately, the next race is not always a good enough motivator.  

        So this last week the funk was still in full effect.  Two weeks removed from my first 50 mile race and with the highly anticipated Psycho Wyco Run Toto Run 50K less than a month away, you’d think I would be up and hitting on all cylinders. However, all this week I felt like I was moving in slow motion and the stop-watch confirmed that I was. The dismal week culminated in disgrace as I dropped from a K.C. Trail Nerd group run Saturday at Wyco Lake because I couldn’t keep the pace. I slowed down and fell back after only a couple of miles! Disgusted, I ran my slowest loop ever on that course.  Part of my slug-like pace can be attributed to the deep snow that blankets all of the local trails. The area has gotten a ton of snow. In fact, our snow fall totals are 10 inches above the norm for the month. Running without snow shoes in these conditions is hard work and can really suck the energy out of your legs.

        Of course, neither the post race mental let-down nor the deep snow can take all of the blame. The big events really do leave me physically worn out and in need of some legitimate recovery time. However, after Coleen’s Frozen Fat Ass on January 7^th & 8^th (see the last post), I dropped my mileage total for the week to a paltry 24 miles of easy recovery jaunts on non-technical trails. Maybe one easy week wasn’t enough. I’m still learning what works and what doesn’t in training so maybe a 50-miler warrants a longer “bouncing back” period.

        So, humbled at Wyco the day before, I decided to do one more trail run for the week on Sunday. I had to gain some measure of redemption and prove I could run a decent pace through heavy snow.  I struggled through the mountain bike and horse trails of Kill Creek with the same lack of aplomb that was starting to become familiar.  Feeling a little dejected, I got home just as my two toddlers; Alyena and Ayden, were getting their snow gear on with an intent to run through the deep snow in the backyard. Much to my wife’s approval, I volunteered to serve as their guide since I was already “snowy”. As we ran around the yard, I was drilled by 3-year old Alyena about the trails. “How far did you run?”

         “Pretty far” I said.

         “What did you see?”  

         “A hawk” I answered.

         “What else?”

         “Some deer”

         “What else?” (and so on for awhile…)

         “Daddy run” added two year old Ayden as his sister nailed me with a surprisingly well packed snow ball.

         “Maybe someday I can run with you and see a bobcat” said the girl with the cannon for an arm and suddenly just like that, the funk was snapped. It’s not always about recovery, or pacing, or upcoming races or weekly mileage totals, sometimes it’s just the simplicity of running…and snowballs.

Colleen’s Frozen Fat Ass Trail Run:   

 Last ass on the Path

       As Lawrence Trail Hawk founder Gary Henry put it, it was time for some serious “fat assery”. In the ultra-running vernacular, "Fat Ass" refers to an event with no entry fee, no t-shirts, no awards or finisher’s medals, and little or no aid. Historically, Fat Asses have been held following holidays as a remedy for the culinary overindulgences to which we all fall prey (i.e. our fat asses).  Most Fat Ass runs take place in winter, on trails, and cover long distances. The field of runners at a Fat Ass is generally a no-maintenance, tough, and committed group of runners who can handle (and even relish in) the lack of aid and support. Ultra lore has it that the Fat Ass format was invented by a runner who needed to find a 50 mile race to qualify for the Western States 100. He simply started his own race after a failed search. His “race” did not offer the usual fare of more traditional events and was basically a low key group training run but even more runners showed up the following year and so, the Fat Ass was born. I love Fat Asses…no frills, just the essentials of trail running; a trail, a personal goal, self reliance, and a desire to keep moving forward.   

         Colleen’s 2^nd annual Frozen Fat Ass at the Prairie Center near Olathe, Ks offered a little different spin on the Fat Ass format. Instead of a set distance, it was held on a 3.2 mile loop trail and runners could do as many laps as they wanted from 7pm Friday night to 7am Saturday morning. Hmm, a night run…in winter…this was gonna hurt, but like the original Fat Asser, I was looking for a 50 mile race as a next step in ultra running and my schedule (first as an active duty Marine and then a graduate student) hadn’t allowed me to run any of the local 50’s held in 2010. Besides, if I could pull off 50 miles at night, in winter, in less than twelve hours it would be a huge confidence builder on my quest to run 100 mile races, right? Well, that was the plan anyway, so here we go.

         I arrived at the Prairie Center in time to find Gary Henry and a few other Lawrence Trail Hawks setting up the registration station. I mingled with a few other runners, met a fellow former Marine, stretched and got ready to go. There were plenty of talented local runners in attendance and I remember thinking “50 miles?! These guys are probably going to knock out 60 or more in twelve hours”. I never imagined that I’d be the last “ass on the path” considering who else was running. I mean there were guys and gals there who had run the H.U.R.T, the Leadville, and Western States 100’s. On a side note, I’ve run in a few Trail Hawk events over the last six months and have to say that the Hawk’s races just keep getting better with every event they host. They’re definitely on their way and Kansas City trail runners are extremely fortunate to have two trail running groups (the KC Trail Nerds being the other – see my links). I ran fifteen trail races in 2010 where I didn’t have to travel. We may not be Asheville, Auburn, or Boulder, but the trail and ultra scene in KC is thriving (this topic may be another post later). Anyways, about five ‘till seven, the race director, Colleen, welcomed us all to her Fat Ass and we were off and running.

         Loop 1 through 5. I went out with a pretty quick group that included Nick Lang and Wes Brown. They were moving a little faster out of the gate than I had wanted to but I kept up since I enjoyed the company. In fact, Wes and I ran the first five loops together and it really seemed we were on the same wavelength. We found a good rhythm and set a pace that had me about thirty minutes ahead of schedule going into loop 5.  After starting the race in shorts, body armor, and a long sleeve T-shirt, I added my North Face flight series windbreaker, (I may do a winter gear review on it later) between the 3^rd and 4^th loop as the temperature dropped. I was also alternating water and Gatorade every loop. Whether the desert or the arctic you’ve got to manage hydration, I think it’s harder to stay hydrated in winter than in summer (if for no other reason than water bottles keep freezing)! I also alternated energy gels with solid food every few loops knowing that I’d need more calories than usual to stay warm. I also refrained from going into the race HQ in the cabin each loop. I didn’t want to thaw out and then have to re-adjust to the cold every loop.

         Loop 5. The temperature held steady (and cold!) but the clouds blew out revealing a planetarium. For the rest of the night, occasional glances up let me follow the Hunter on his trip.  I think ultra runners make good astronomers.

        Loop 6. My hands started to get cold to the point I couldn’t warm them up so I switched from my fleece gloves to my mountaineering gloves that are rated down to -20 below. Apparently, overheating was not going to be a problem tonight.

        Loop 7. Wes hit his goal with the sixth loop and Nick had picked up his pace earlier, so from the seventh loop on I knew it would be cold, dark, and lonely (go ahead and say it…awwwww). They say character is what you do when no one’s looking. That’s the allure of endurance sports. In the late stages of a race after miles and miles, you’re going to be stripped down to your core. Whoever or whatever you are is going to surface, whatever your reasons are for running are going to be tested, and the resulting self discovery is either going to be a source of pride or let you know there are things you need to work on. “relax” I told my self, “you can’t run the whole distance in one loop”.

          Loops 8 and 9.  Way too slow. I was feeling good about being ahead of schedule and got a little complacent. Also, without anyone there to push me I must have just slowed down without even realizing it. “Don’t relax that much!”

          Loops 10 and 11. Physically I felt fine so I picked up the pace. I can’t remember which loop specifically, but I ran into Coleen and I remember feeling so good that I told her I was going to keep going beyond 50…clearly this was a case of temporary runner's high as loop twelve nearly went all to hell.  

          Loop 12. For me, the key to successful ultra running has always been to banish negative thoughts. Races where I can stay positive I do well. It’s easy on a long run to start getting down on yourself when the body begins to hurt. If you allow them, negative thoughts can become overwhelming “I’m not fast enough, I suck, its cold, I really do have a fat ass, why do I even try, blah, blah, blah”.  Loop twelve is when the negative thoughts tried to sneak in and it was during an episode of inattentive, self absorbed pity that I crossed the creek, not at the usual dry crossing spot; but rather, over the deepest section. I completely submerged my feet. Now, La Sportiva Wildcat’s drain really well, but at night in winter this was a mistake that would haunt me in the form of mild frostbite on the toes.

         Loop 13 (mile 41.6). Finally: less than ten miles to go. At this point in the run, Gary and Coleen became my support crew. I didn’t know it until mile 44.8 (when I asked) but I was the only runner still going. I have to admit that when I found out, part of me was thinking “I won, cool, time to quit and go home”; but I also realized that I wasn’t running to get the most mileage, I came out to run 50 miles and anything less wouldn’t do. I also thought about quitting at that point because I felt that Gary and Coleen could be in warm beds instead of catering to my goals and I felt a little guilty. I mentioned as much to Gary and he snuffed out the thought, assuring me he was where he wanted to be. They were both awesome and I tried to keep my pace up for them.

          Loop 14. So they say it always gets darker and colder before the dawn. They’re right. The wind picked up and I had to deal with a cold wind chill starting around mile 43. Any moisture on my body began to freeze in place. Ice in the beard, frost on the beanie, and my nose was numb. I tried to pick up the pace to warm up but I just felt like I was in slow motion. Gary told me I was running 40 – 45 minute loops so I was going faster than I thought but the wind really started to beat me down. Also, I couldn’t feel my right big toe and was a little concerned. I was a climber long before I was a trail runner and so I’m well aware of the dangers of frostbite. No summit is worth the loss of a digit and neither is any race. Ed Viesturs is right on when he says “Reaching the summit is optional. Getting down is mandatory” (No Shortcuts to the Top, 2010). Still, reason doesn’t always prevail at 5 am after 40 miles and I thought if I could just keep moving I would stay warm. Fortunately for my toe, the temp had bottomed out and didn’t get any colder.

         Loop 15. If a trail runner falls in the woods and there’s no one around to see it, did it really happen? Mile 46’ish, I’m running along fine and then WHAM, I’m face down. I think I actually tripped over nothing. I yelled out some profanity just ‘cause it made me feel better. SO cold now, falling shouldn’t have hurt like that…I’m getting sensitive!

         Loop (sort of) 16 (mile 48 to 50)!  6:00 am. In retrospect, I would have had time to run a full loop but when Coleen gave me the option of an out and back to get my remaining two miles for 50, I accepted. Given my frozen condition and the fact that I felt I was moving too slow, I opted to reach my 50 mile goal and no more. I also didn’t want to take a chance on failing to “officially” make it to 50 before 7am. After a quick brief on my new mile out and back course, I grabbed an Oreo cookie and took off down the trail. “Took off” is, of course a relative term. On the way back I could see the thin orange & pink line of the infancy of a winter sunrise. “This is why our ancestors worshipped the sun”, I thought.  More importantly I saw the light from the cabin serving as run HQ. Gary was outside to cheer me in and it was over just like that. Next came pictures with Coleen and Gary, a couple more cookies, and something to drink. I peeled my gloves off and tried to get the icicles off my beard. 50 miles down.

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you to Coleen and Gary! Thanks also to Nick Lang, Wes Brown and all the Hawks and Nerds who encouraged me on the way to my first 50 mile run. I think it was Kyle Amos who shouted something to me around mile 35 or 38 that got me motivated, if only for a loop, to pick up my pace. Mostly, huge thanks to my Wife Jessica who puts up with my many, many miles of training a week without despair as well as “widow weekends” when I’m racing or running long. And to my kids, Alyena and Ayden who at 3 ½ and 2 years old are already becoming solid trail fiends in their own right!

Next up, Psycho Wyco Run Toto Run 50K…